What do people do in BDSM ?

So the most frequent question I get asked is - what exactly does it mean when you say you practice BDSM? Do you have rough sex? Do you have kinky sex? Do you beat people? Do you get beaten? Do you role play? Do you sleep with many people? Do you do Orgies? Do you.......

And I silently pray that people would calm down just a bit and breathe :) Just like I do. Yes! I breathe in BDSM :) I laugh, I cry, I smile, I weep, I serve, I am taken care of, I get hurt, I hurt, I enjoy, I have fun, and more. But more importantly, I live! I breathe!

However, the euphemisms aside, let's see what all can a session mean. Also, what does a session certainly NOT mean. There are two ways of approaching the subject.

1. What does a BDSM session mean in general?
2. What does a BDSM session mean for me personally?

I will like to begin by saying a BDSM session means what you want it to mean as long as the activities are a part of Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism and Masochism. For a lot of people BDSM session also means kinky sex with fetishes.

Since BDSM is so personal, it may not make a lot of sense if I talk only of my perspective. Afterall, what it means for me, is only one side of the story. So, I will share more about this question on a generic note and let's see, some of the things a BDSM session can mean.

• What Exactly is a session ?

A session is the time spent together in an intimate / semi - intimate / public setting between two people who identify as BDSM practitioners. This could be sexual or not, public or private. This could include pain, bondage, discipline, sex, or neither.

• What can a BDSM session entaill?

Any activity that falls under the spectrum of Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism and Masochism can be a part of a BDSM session. By extension, any kinks and fetishes that enhance sexual pleasure may also be a part of a session.

• Is a BDSM session about exciting sex?

Only if you and your partner want it to be. If one of you is asexual or doesn't want to have sex in a particular session, that's fine. A lot of times a BDSM session is only about the protocol. For instance the submissive may kneel at a Dom's feet and they may watch the TV together and that's all they may do. It's as good as a session for them, if this makes them happy.

• Then How is a BDSM session different from normal love making or cozy time?

Well, it's not. The mindset is what's different. The activities may or may not differ. You may cuddle up with your boy friend, or you may cuddle up with your Dom. Your Dom may be a guy or a girl. You may have sex with your boyfriend, or may work out with a friend or may indulge in flogging with your sadist, or may let your bondage top tie you up, or  may let your Dominant order you around. None of them are honestly different in my opinion on the surface.

The difference is in how it makes you feel and what activities interest you. If it's plain 'vanilla' missionary sex or a normal workout, it's a vanilla activity. If it's an activity around BD, Ds or Sm, it's BDSM.


Feel free to read, comment, discuss. I'd love to hear your thoughts and answer questions the best I can.

Till the next post.

Be well and play safe,
© Asmi Uniqus 2017