“You claim to be an empowered woman and yet
you claim that you want other people to boss you around. Who would really want
to spend all their time trying to tell you what to do. Grow up and take charge
of your life. Why do you want to spend all your life being someone’s slave?”
_________________________
Erm…. Thanks for asking me that question. I really
wish your words were laced with less judgement and assumptions. Your question
actually tells me much more about you, rather than any of my Dominant partners.
First things first, I am totally in charge
of my life. I eat what I like, I exercise based on what my doctor and trainer recommend,
I buy what I can afford, I am well-read, well-educated and very gainfully
employed, I live by myself, have wonderful relationships with my family,
friends and chosen partner/s at any given point. So, my submission isn’t reflective
of my incapability to take charge of my life 😊
Now that we have THAT out of our way, let’s
talk about the rest of it. I trust my long-term partners with greater
responsibility. That’s one of the reasons I submit. The second reason I submit
to someone is, that we have both taken time to know each other very well, not
just in the bedroom but also outside it. We MUST have intellectual, emotional,
social, and financial compatibility before I agree to even ‘consider’
submitting to them.
Third, I am happy doing things for other
people, people I love. Just like I hope you are. Only that my demeanour is
submissive rather than obliging. Fourth, I have taken more than a decade of my
life and worked on myself, in order to be able to fully embrace my submissive
desires and nature. It is not lightly that I submit. It is not to every Tom, Dick,
Harry, or Heena, Neena, Karina that I submit.
In some of my write-ups I have mentioned how
my Dominant partner/s have brought positivity, empowerment and enrichment to my
life. At some places perhaps, I have also written a bit about what value my partners
think, I have added to their lives. I might write more on that later.
All of that said, I am neither a doormat, nor
a wall flower. I ensure that any Dominant partner I go around with is someone who
understands and respects my own accomplishments in life. I do realize that it
is a difficult and paradoxical concept for most people to reconcile with.
Further, Dominants don’t just go around bossing
people. Just like me, my partners also work on their self-awareness. They work
on as many sentiments, personal issues and skills as I do. When I serve them,
they also have a responsibility to care for me, to protect me, to ensure I don’t
overexert myself. My partner/s take it seriously.
Remember what I do is neither under societal
pressure, nor because of coercion. It is with another consenting adult like any
other ‘regular’ relationship. Our power exchange is not parasitic, co-dependent
or dysfunction like in a lot of erotica.
One of the good ideas might be to actually
connect with some people offline and see how and why they function. Some gentle
questions asking them what they do, how they relate with their partners, what
makes them do what they do, is a good way to begin.
BDSM if done right in a consensual set up with the right people is an act of love. As much as any other display is, specially on the Valentines' day.
Hope this clears some confusion.
Asmi
© Asmi Uniqus 2018
